In the hallowed tradition of the now defunct (or is that de-Fink-ed?) drunkgamers.com and Chi-style Drunksaling here at The New Gamer I am proud to present...
Ben: "Loo coo coo coo coo coo coo!!!"
Craig: "Loo coo coo coo coo coo coo..."
Ben: Good day, eh. This is Great White North. I'm Ben Sloat, this is my cousin Craig. He's joining me live via satellite from Shanghai. (Craig: How's it going eh?)
Craig: Good to be joining in this week and hope to make it official if you all know what I mean.
Ben: I hope you brought an umbrella. Why? It was raining "suck" this week up here in Canada and it seeped over to the garage sales. There was promise of a good Sony find though eh, as two ads had listed the word "Playstation" within. Let's see what we can dig up, you hosers.
Craig: Yeah, eh!
 |
| A Great White North garage sale just isn't complete without the requisite winter sled sitting right in front for all to see. I'm Canadian and I'm proud dammit! |
Craig: I never had a wooden sled when I was a youngster. I always had a GT or one of those foldable plastic ones. But from what I can see they have a lot of crap for sale.
Ben: Indeed, this sorry sight greeted me at 6AM! You can imagine my glee at the complete and total lack of gaming paraphernalia.
Ben: Ooo wait a second, what's that in the back?
 |
| Another poor lost soul from the "Brown Gunk" Dynasty. This one's a keeeeeper. |
Craig: I NEED a new NES since my always gives me that "other" blue screen of death and THEN my mother sold it on me in a *suspense music* yard sale.
Ben: Sadly these lil guys are popping up all over the place now. I'm pretty sure this is yet another victim from the attack on the Goodwill a few months ago. Bought it trying to get something cheap and being too lazy to clean it. Poor fella. Daddy would give you a home but he already has a favourite son, NES, and he's working. Once you're over for good you'll be able to pick one up yourself pretty quickly.
 |
| Just thrown in with all the other toys, this fairly new PS1 screams out at me like a lost child, naked and burned with napalm. Won't someone please give it a box? Somebody? Anybody? |
Craig: I always thought the newer looking PSOne looked like shit, and preferred my beloved original 1995 model, you know the one which could actually use a GameShark.
Ben: This first of many disappointments this fine Saturday morning (or extended Friday night for me, as I had yet to go to bed) was this idiot photo of my black leather shoe next to a box with a $40 CDN PS1 + game in it. The most I would pay is $20 and I don't think he would go for it. He seemed to think the asking prize was already good because it came with a game (and a demo disc which doesn't really count as a game, does it?)
Craig: I'd never pay forty flipping bucks for a PSOne, especially without a box or a decent game.
 |
| For some reason (EA) in the 90's the Genesis and sports games just kinda gravitated towards each other like twin moons orbiting Venus. |
Craig: Yeah, I remember back in the day a lot of gamers played their Genesis for the sports line-up more than anything else.
Ben: Here was the first and only major score of the day. On top you see the Madden '92 box and the R.B.I. Baseball 4. There were six BOXES in total. I emphasize box because not all the boxes actually had the games in them.
Craig: Heh, they couldn't even be bothered to check to make sure there was a game in each box.
Ben: The seller actually knew they were empty and as I point out below, gave them to me for nothing.
 |
| Welcome to the show my newest and bestest friend whom I haven't seen since the LAST time I cleaned the apartment, Hardwood Floor. (Applause) |
Ben: So along with a second copy of Madden '92 and a second copy of NHL '94, I snagged R.B.I. Baseball 4 plus boxes for FIFA Soccer 95, NHL 95 and NBA Jam. All for $3 bucks. She was basically giving the cases away. Turns out I don't need a single one of them. Ah well to the future!
Craig: Look at all those crappie sports titles; you're lucky I wasn't there to slap you for buying those (but even sports games count in the ultimate collection, right?)
Ben: I would smack you back for even questioning my drunksaling tactics. The bitchslapping comes later anyways, and not over these cheapies.
 |
| For some reason the cartoon face of Jim Carrey just fit right in between the copies of A Bugs Life and The Lion King. |
Ben: Just out of sheer surprise I snapped this shot of Ace Ventura Pet Detective. I didn't check it out but I'm pretty sure the gameplay didn't involve Ace's nocturnal encounter with that "bony bitch" Melissa Robinson (Courtney Cox in a rather wooden but all around credit-worth performance.)
Craig: Got to love these Tiger games, I used to own the one with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 but it wasn't as much fun as the sequel on the NES (which you need to find.)
 |
| I had the original box for my PSX as well when I got rid of it. That didn't make it worth $50!!!! |
Craig: Whoa! It has a box? Plus it's in mint condition!
Ben: This here was my second overtly depressing discovery of the week. For some reason people think this thing is worth money. It is not. People with PS2s don't need these things. Only people looking for these are parents looking for something for the kids to play in the car or to amuse the newly hand-to-eye coordinated toddler.
 |
| Looks like caught Dave Andreychuk in a more intimite moment. Let's leave him alone and focus on the GB carts. Ugh. Pokemon. Never mind. Why did I take this picture again? |
Ben: As if to degrade the cartridges further, this kid shoved them in a couple of hockey card sleeves and left them out for all to see. Oh my eyes. My sweet precious eyes!
Craig: Hey, I loved
 |
| Hmm, here we have actually legitimate satellite TV hardware this week. Complete with clunky and obviously bird abused dish. And three receivers. Sweet. Too bad I have nowhere to put these. And I already have a snazzier dish. |
Craig: One more Star Choice customer takes the boot. Heh, they should be like me, eh, and get themselves a nice illegal one to the Philippines. (Disclaimer: No one in or around or involved with The New Gamer endorses or encourages theft of satellite signals, in fact Craig is now in the corner being bitchslapped by a deranged Pokemon fan. Thank you.)
 |
| Now this was a major find. Not a major score but a major find, as for some reason I DID NOT BUY THIS. |
Craig: WOAH EH! That Mario's Cement Lab looks cool!
Ben: You're gonna slap me for not buying that aren't you?
Craig: Yup, we will be 80 years old and I'll bring it up... especially since this showed up on Ebay the very week after you passed this up.
Craig: I would of picked up this puppy ASAP if it were me, and I do not know if I could of held back my excitement long enough to bargin.
Ben: Yes, I somehow I feel I'll be forever cursed by passing up this obvious find which I should have bought even though I hadn't gone to the PSX garage sales yet I must have been still drunk stupid stupid stupid stupid... sorry got rambling there a bit.
 |
| And now for my next magic trick... |
Ben: This stopped me in my tracks. A 128 Meg video card for $25. This can't be happening. This must be a dream. I better flip it over and look inside just to be sure!
Craig: Sweet ass! That's a nice find and for 25 bucks it's a steal.
 |
| I'll make 96 Megs of video RAM... disappear! |
Ben: Apparently they used the box from their NEW card to sell their OLD video card. A 32 Meg GForce2 FX 200 or something. Call me last decade when this was a cutting edge card.
Craig: That is just plain wrong. How cruel of a person do you have to be to play such a trick on someone.
 |
| For those of you who can't read upsidedown-ese, those carts are selling for 50 cents. Somehow Eminem is not involved with this sale. |
Craig: Heh, the DKC2 looks like its taking a beating, but the MW looks fine especially for 50 cents.
Ben: I know what you're thinking. You're right, that copy of DKC2 looks like someone gave it to their dog. But it does work. No wait... *runs to SNES and turns it on* Yep. It works. Further attempts to remove the masking tape holding the theft prevention measures have made the cartridge even more worthless. Oh well. If I didn't have two copies of Super Mario World already it would have been snatched for sure. Just too common a cart to fret over these days.
 |
| Ah good old Windoze 3.0 the unique Graphical Environment For DOS Systems. All I remember about Windoze 3.0 was playing Reversi and watching it crash all the time. |
Craig: Ultima II!!
Ben: No no no... Ultima VI! Geez. Slow your roll, fanboy.
Ben: So this was the best part of an old computer someone had laying out and looking pretty for all the walkers by. Only thing this one had going for it really was the possibly working 5 1/4" drive. Well one never knows. I have two such drives at home and both are not cooperating.
Craig: How much was it eh?
Ben: They wanted $50 for the whole computer...
Craig: $50 for chit... WOW 50 bucks for a nice paper weight...
 |
| Honey? I think I lost the remote again! Maybe we should check with the neighbours... |
Ben: This makes the grade simply for sheer entertainment value. I can safely say that I now know where all those remotes go when you lose them.
Craig: Well I if I ever lose my remote again I'll ask these guys for a spare.
 |
| Awww, no more? |
Ben: Yes I am sorry to report that this is officially my lamest drunksaling trip to this point this year. Even if I HAD picked up that Mario's Cement Factory game. Hopefully there'll be better pickings next week. About time I had a "lull" week, eh peccaui?
Find of the Week: Hands down Mario's Cement Factory. The people responsible for not letting me buy this have been sacked.
Lesson of the Week / Why my friend thinks I'm an idiot this week: So drunk he forgot to buy the RARE Mario toy. (Shut up about that already!) [ed. Oh, you'll never live this one down!]
Filled under: