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Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Slumber

March 8, 2005 By Glenn Turner

I fell asleep again playing Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door.

I had a dream that I was in a bus, being towed home while on cross-country skis until the kindly bus driver had an aneurysm and collapsed on the steering wheel, crashing said bus and causing quite a winter roadside spectacle.

I don't know how this Paper Mario provoked such a dream but regardless, I hate backtracking, which this game has in spades and seemingly provoked my little bout with unconsciousness.

The last time I fell asleep during a game was while playing Syberia 1, around July, although most recently unitdaisy and myself almost fell asleep simultaneously while playing Syberia 2. Backtracking coupled with a languid, soft-spoken soundtrack is one hell of an insomniac cure.

Sadly, I have a lot to say about the aforementioned games but it's hard to justify writing about these games that consistently put me to sleep. And it's not as if I'm particularly tired while playing them, or even prone to nodding off often - I'm not a 'nap' kind of guy. But so it goes.

Let's move on towards more pleasant subjects. For instance, if you don't check out our forum you may have missed that Nullsleep, Covox and Bit Shifter are on tour right now. These are all exceptional bands that represent the very best of the chiptune scene. If you're at all in the area when they're playing, if you're not attending their show you're committing a crime against your ears. Most obviously, I'll be at their Chicago show. In fact, my fingernails will count the days down, down to the raw nerves of each nail's cuticle.

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#1 milkman1042 Jun 24, 2005 12:11pm

I guess everyone has their preference but Paper Mario is a really great game. Sure it back tracks but a lot of great games have done this. Take The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. That game backtracks more than any other I've ever played and I still consider it to the best video game ever.

P.S.: I am annoyed though of how there's no cut scenes and you need to sit through everything.

#2 Glenn Turner Jun 24, 2005 02:17pm

It's not necessarily backtracking in general that I'm opposed to, but tedious, uninspired backtracking that is there for no other reason than to pad a game. Arguably, in my opinion, most of the backtracking that occurs in Paper Mario 2 could easily be axed, and the game would be better for it.

If you haven't read it yet, there's much more detail about my complaints in my review.