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Week #8: Almost as Enticing as a Kitchen Sink

August 18, 2003 By Glenn Turner

Back in the day when Chicago didn't resemble the arctic tundra, unitdaisy and I were so inspired by drunkgamers.com's garagesaling adventures that we went out about Chicago, scrounging for games. Often we returned home empty handed to post our experiences in the Drunkgamer's Message Forum. However, there were a few times we were lazy and never quite got around to posting them.

Oh, and for those unfamiliar with the term garagesaling it's simple: you wake up far too early in the morning on the weekend and go out to garage sales looking for something (preferably videogame related) while wishing you were still in bed. You can picture for yourself what drunksaling is. Or just see below.

unitdaisy: I found a game! Final Fantasy III! But even as I was standing up from rooting around in the basket to share the news of my find, peccaui stripped it form my hands.

peccaui: Yep - on our first sale of the day we found a game. A not too shabby game at that, and one that only required me to fork out a quarter. Of course it's FFVI and not the real III but it's a damn sight better than the usual used cloth diapers and toothpicks by the quart we find.

unitdaisy: This is what I've always wanted. People standing on street corners directing hapless bleery-eyed shoppers into the gaping maws of huge sales.

peccaui: You're lucky she's there - otherwise you would have kept insisting the sale was across the street.

unitdaisy: Until of course we got to the sale which was housed in the tiniest garage ever. The streetwalking woman was unfair advertisement.

peccaui: We seriously need to look into false advertising lawsuits for these sales. 90% of the ones we go to are neither big, amazing, have great finds or run by stylish women.

unitdaisy: Well maybe the first movie was comatose enducing and the second scarred by George Clooney, but certainly the game brough the true glory of Solaris to life!

peccaui: You haven't even seen EITHER Solaris movie. You should probably stop listening to movie reviews from the Lincoln Park Trixies that dwadle around your apartment sipping their lattes and talking about their Beemers.

unitdaisy: Oh pish! You live much closer to Lincoln Park than I do, closer to a Starbucks, too, perhaps you are the trixie lover.

peccaui: Yawn. You can take my keyboard away when I'm dead.

unitdaisy: I didn't need this.

peccaui: Ah the beginning of one man's failure to complete The Great American Game.

unitdaisy: It... could... be... me...

unitdaisy: This was the sale where the woman claimed there was something for everyone and indeed she was correct, but I was out of money and peccaui refused to humor my candlestick* needs. I needed those candlesticks. I did.
* candlesticks may not be pictured

peccaui: We didn't need a single item there. What a sham. And yes, unitdaisy plays the part of a patsy to a T.

unitdaisy: I can play checkers with this!

peccaui: *Sigh* ... my NES doesn't need an othello sim. I'm lonely enough.

unitdaisy: Were the control top panty hose an important peripheral for Dragon's Lair? Fascinating.

peccaui: Only in Japan - they took all of the transgender scenes out of the American version.

unitdaisy: Assholes. Really. I had to take their pictures to publicly shame them. Don't you feel shamed now!

peccaui: Oh yeah. A poorly detailed picture on a obscure, niche (dare I say unread) website with the caption 'Assholes.' I'm sure they'll be feeling this slight two years from now.

unitdaisy: Even Logan couldn't run from the Sandman.

unitdaisy: I don't think they'd welcome me and my G4 here.

peccaui: That sign is just code for 'Boys Club - No Girlz Allowed! This means you!'

unitdaisy: Spooky house! In the middle of the summer! But the owners must have been avoiding the light because we couldn't find the advertised sale promised.

peccaui: Maybe it's a haunted sale that appears once a year in the newspaper after the original sale dealers died a grisley death in 1985. By swinging by we inadvertantly are honoring the dead! What a fucking waste of time.

peccaui: Believe it or not, the sink was the highlight of this sale.

unitdaisy: Take your Garbage Pail Kids to the office.

peccaui: Nostalgia, kitch or a blight on our culture? You decide!

Find of the Week: Final Fantasy III
Well, as it was the only game-related item we found this week by default it's the winner. We've done worse.

Lesson of the Week:

The next sale we find that offers cheap transportation via two wheels and a smattering of gears we're buying one. Hoofing it just doesn't cut it anymore.

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