You totally missed when I was wearing a tuxedo. My tux was greasy sweet.

Those that played the first Sly Cooper game (entitled Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus) were treated to a quick amalgam of stealth/platforming action married with crisp, clean and unique cel-shaded graphics. Or so I've been told. I only played the demo that was included in the Official Playstation Magazine, and that only ended up in my possession because of the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City cover story. But that was two years ago, and I digress.

Actually no, that's relevant. It felt like it took me two years to beat Sly 2: Band of Thieves. Apparently there were dozens of complaints from the "gaming community" that Sly Cooper was too short, allegedly easily beaten within seven to ten hours of gaming time. Like I said, I wouldn't know since I played the demo and that took like, twenty minutes. Sucker Punch's solution? Pad the sequel by forcing me to play the same mission types several times over. Back-tracking to nick six more keys from guards located as far from each other as possible in the level? Let's have that happen ten times more please! 'Hacking' computers with Bentley the turtle, one of two playable secondary characters is fun the first ten times you play the game's twisted melange of Combat & Smash T.V. After around the twentieth replay the soothing retro-bleeps start to grate on even the calmest of nerves.

So yes, you can have too much of a good thing. Like how I'm stuffing my craw with Berghoff Pale Ale right now (personally, I prefer the original Lager), and in the morning I'll realize that I probably had about one bottle too many but will write the experience off as necessary for the writing of this 'review'. Similarly, Sly 2 kept me up far too late (in fact the color of the sky outside my bay windows matched the iridescent blues of the game's night sky!) with a similar purpose - to finish what I had started. I wanted the game to be over and done with, and I wanted the beer bottles empty. By episode/level seven I was chomping at the bit with restlessness, the same way that my leg starts irritably bouncing up and down when forced to watch HGTV. My fingers stab at the 'x' button, trying to speed up the process. I groan through normally-entertaining and well-produced cut-scenes which detail the emotional turbulence that Sly, Bentley and Murray (the 'Tick-like' hippopotamus rounding out Sly's crew) are riding. I whisper-shout insults at the game under my breath, trying not to wake those sleeping.

The Murray is a God amoung you!

In a way, my impatience disappoints me. I can see myself as a kid again, 12 years old or so and loving this game - spending numerous nights staying up until dawn to complete it, adoring every moment of it and not caring about the redundancy. Now I want the enemies to "hurry the fuck up" so I don't have to keep my finger depressed, forcing my character to remain in a statue-like stasis one second longer. I have a job, I have this article to write, I have loved ones that require doting attention, I have bills to pay; Sly should be intimately familiar with the fiscal responsibilities of managing a crew of lackeys. And it's not like Sly 2 requires eighty meaty Dragon Warrior hours or anything like that. 25, 30 hours tops if you're a bit of a slow gamer or obsessive collector. Regardless, in my book as far as action games go, that's around 5-10 hours too long. Leave me wanting more, much more. If I want, I'll play it again.

At the end of the day, Sly 2 overstays its welcome. You keep giving it hints, yawning, stretching your arms, "Man, I gotta get up early tomorrow!" but it doesn't listen. Instead, you're forced to run up and down the same beams over and over again, attack the same respawning guards fifty times over and desperately try to recall what path you took to get to that one awning two hours ago. Despite Sly 2's mislaid longevity when the missions aren't feeling tedious it's a thrill to play, and stylish to boot. The levels are immaculately conceived - the cities/levels feel tangible, and climbing to the top of the highest tree or antenna on a building and looking down on the entire area is a nearly sobering experience.

Don't look behind you. Or down. Or up. Just get in your frickin' shell already.

Aurally it may not have you whistling alongs with the score, but the attention to detail and production values are stellar. Characters are well developed, even the enemies! All that is grand, it's great to see such a finely tuned game but I can only appreciate that level of attention for such a period before growing restless by repeatedly playing the same missions over again. If you have the patience to play the game from beginning to end (and the tolerance for a poorly paced final level), more power to you. Otherwise ditch Sly 2 around episode seven.