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Simpsons - Hit & Run Review (GCN)

October 6, 2003 By Glenn Turner
I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!

If you're reading this, chances are you are a huge Simpson's fan. Back in the day, I used to be an ardent follower of Matt Groening's perfect little slice of americana and satire (hell, my last review closed with a classic Homer Simpson quote). And while The Simpson's have been heartily adapted to a variety of questionable forms, noting epitomizes a lack of licensing savvy than all of the ill-fated attempts to bring them to our gaming consoles.

But you already knew that.

Now there is The Simpson's Hit & Run, a game shamelessly pilfering Grant Theft Auto 3 that is trying to break the streak of mediocre to stinking awful gaming attempts. I would love to say that Hit & Run breaks that stride, I really would. Nothing would please me more than to agree with the plethora of game reviewers falling over themselves saying it's a must-own experience. But while Hit & Run perfectly captures the spirit of The Simpson's, as a video game it's a lackluster mess that barely touches the brilliance of it's bastard father.

Mmmm doughnuts The attractive aspect of Hit & Run is that there are bucketloads of new Simpsons dialogue, and all of it's finely executed. While you're driving Marge, Homer, Bart, Lisa or Apu around town you'll hear a barrage of quips that are both familiar while fresh at the same time. The story doesn't sluff off either - while a somewhat convoluted story, and the motivating action isn't the most sensible out there, it's heads above your standard 'soldier stuck on a planet full of mutants' stories. The real gem of the game is the attention to detail - for once we are blessed with developers that love the show, and have spent a great deal of time pouring their fondness into the game. Rarely is there one corner that you can turn in the game that isn't a reference to a previous episode, doesn't contain one gag or fails to make you laugh. This is a game by Simpson's fan for Simpson's fans, and it's about damn time.

"Ich bin ein Springfielder."

Walking? That wasn't part of the deal!

Unlike GTA, Springfield is not one big map. You're given piece of Springfield for each level and each piece is a virtual Moebius loop, so exploration is a limited within each level. While that's a disappointment, it doesn't break the bank. What does ruin the experience is the mind-numbing monotony of the game between cut-scenes. Except for a few exceptions, there are three different types of missions: Ones where you race against the clock to get to an objective, those where you have to destroy your opponent before time runs out, and those requiring you to collect objects before time runs out. Sound monotonous? It is. Halfway through you'll be cursing and praying for just even a little variation. By the final level you'll be screaming 'BUT I JUST DID THIS EXACT SAME MISSION!!' while smashing your head against a wall in an attempt to blackout the previous levels and start anew. It would help if the difficulty of the levels were evenly paced but no. They range from baby-easy to teeth-gnashingly difficult - there is little of a medium ground. There are hints after you lose to 'assist' you in reigning over Springfield but after the second level you quickly realize that they're the same three hints recycled. Apparently the developers didn't think we'd notice the hint 'Switch to a faster car!' doesn't work on a mission where you must retain the car you start with.

Somewhat fortunatly, the developers had noticed that their levels were less than brilliantly conceived so they enabled a 'Skip Level' option if you perpetually lose and it's a handy feature that keeps the story flowing when your face is turning fire-engine red. However, this is no excuse for boring, mindnumbing levels. When I think back to GTA3, I can't remember much in the way of variation but there certainly was some excitement garnered when you received your mission and not just abject deep groans of disappointment coming from my mouth.

Back when Barney was pure & drunk.

Is this a pimple, or a boil?

If it weren't for the abysmally executed missions, Simpson's Hit & Run would be a hearty addition to anyone's game library. Visually it's nothing to write home about, but it gets the job done (with the occasional frame rate drop here and there) and the look of the final level definitely compensates for any deficiencies. Gameplay is tight, easy and none too awkward on the fingers - but not without occasional bugs & glitches but the ones I encountered were relatively minor (some catching, visual hitches). Either way, these aspects can't cover up the stench of a game that is as redundant as my bitching. If you're a die-hard Simpson's fan then you may want to consider purchasing this after the price has dropped some, but if you aren't then definitely rent it. The opening is quite fun, and the tutorial is a hoot with Bart pointing out the idiosyncrasies of video games. Hopefully there will be enough interest to get a sequel though that will finely deserve to be part of The Simpson's franchise.

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