What should one expect from a cinematic adaptation of Doom? The original video game's theme of a portal to hell opened on Mars was oft overlooked in favor for its white-knuckle first-person action and playability, and rightly so. In fact, one wonders why bringing Doom to the big screen was a desirable prospect to begin with? The game is not cinematic in any sense of the word, and in fact it's first-person perspective and lack of a strong lead character (arguably Doom's space marine is you, John Everyman) is very undesirable for filmic purposes.

So with such a scant story, what does one do to actually adapt it into a 100 minute feature film? Well, like any respectful adaptation you try to retain the signature devices and hooks that separated the source material from the loads of generic pap that clutter store shelves. Unfortunately, what sets Doom above other games does not really translate too well to the silver screen but that doesn't stop Doom (the movie) director Andrzej Bartkowiak from trying.

Doom, The Movie sends a handful of Marines to a scientific outpost on Mars to deal with an unknown threat. Unlike the game, that threat ultimately does not signify a literal breach of Hell, but a more figurative definition. Yes, that's correct: they reneged on Doom's conflict-creation story. For those that actual sweat such details, in many ways this actually helps to slightly amplify the weak source material, if you're actually willing to listen to some of the pseudo-science drivel, but it is still all too vague and rather silly. Otherwise it's business as normal on the red planet. Monsters lurk around each corner of the dimly lit and terribly dirty scientific outpost while the Marines traipse through the claustrophobic hallways, guns shouldered and 'killcams' on (the initial impetus behind a motivated first-person perspective, as monitored remotely by the half-man, half-segway Pinky). These Marines, one-trait caricatures of armed force enlistees we've seen in dozens of other space dramas, fulfill their purpose by shooting at the prerequisite times, being woefully inept at others and even on occasion, manage to wistfully reminiscence. Even their names are stereotypically laughable, (aliases that include The Kid and Reaper) but to some extent it works and occasionally plays in their favor, such as initially inferring that Reaper's (our hero, sufficiently played by Karl Urban) connection to Ms. Samantha Grimm (that's Doctor to you) is that of a jilted lover whereas, surprise, she's actually his twin sister.

If this were the game, one might say that the characters are simply a vehicle for white-knuckled action. Unfortunately all the movie seems to muster up are referential pokes and callbacks to the game. Sure, somewhere in the quagmire of a script is a bit of evangelizing about genetic tampering and morality, but Doom appears to be strictly focused on slipping in references to the game than actually conveying a cohesive and sensible plot. There are keycards galore, a very recognizable overhead map, scientists named 'Dr. Carmack' and 'Dr. Willits', a "Last Man Standing" multiplayer nod, multitudes of 'demons' straight from Adrian Carmack's mind, the infamous 'BFG' (officially labeled as a 'Bio Force Gun') and even a Marine who defies a superior's order, just like in the original.

It wouldn't be Doom if the film didn't wedge in an extended 'fragging' session in glorious first-person vision. Hastily motivated, for the penultimate scene the film drops into seeing the world through Reaper's eyes as he runs alone through the hallways which, in a departure from the rest of the film, is swarming with 'demons'. For once the film feels like the game, and with good reason: the scene is rather immaculately constructed (ignoring a handful of jarring cuts - this scene requires being one long take), with fine attention to detail concerning Reaper's movements and motions. He sneaks through the outpost just like you would, he peaks around corners just like any Doom veteran would, and for once you feel the same thrill while watching as you would while playing. Sadly the scene feels rather disconnected from the rest of the film, whose languid pacing and lack of any driving force (despite the Marines working against a ticking quarantine clock) has all the action and thrills of a particularly violent sneeze. Good execution, but poor implementation.

Doom probably should have never been made. The heart of id's shooter is not in it's story (regardless of how many supplemental Doom texts exist), it is in the gameplay. Consequently there just is not much to actually adapt, other than the standard aesthetic and accessories within the game but those are largely insubstantial. As such, it was up the screenwriter to flesh out the flimsy story and they just weren't able to pull it off. I doubt anyone could have, without making a completely separate film that just happens to be named Doom. No one wants to sit through a 100 minute long shootout, much less one that's projected onto a theatrical screen and utilizing the nauseous first-person perspective which is, arguably, the essence of Doom. Regardless of all the demon cameos, all the 'wink-wink' props and sly references, ultimately the film is just a ploddingly standard genre flick.